"I'm telling the Bishop!!!"

Picture with the "12 Apostles" after the Children's Holy Thursday Mass.

            One of my FAVORITE homilies that I’ve given so far here in Brazil was DEFINITELY “the one with the cell phone”.

            [Mass began as normal.] “In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.  The Lord be… hang on my pocket is vibrating… oh this is important.  The Lord be with you (and with your spirit).  Hang on just a minute – I really need to reply to this message.”  [I spend the next minute tapping on the screen of my phone.]  “Thanks for waiting, it was an important message.  Today we are celebrating…”

            [During the second reading I again pull the cell phone out of my pocket and, pointing at it, I show the screen to the two altar servers on my left.  We are all laughing.]

            [After the Gospel I begin my homily.] “I need to admit that I really loved today’s readings.  In the first reading we see God speaking… to… hang on a second.” [Reaching into my pocket and taking out my cell phone, I look at the screen surprised.] “Oh, this is an important phone call, just one second.”  [I turn around with my back to the people, and “forgetting” that my microphone is on I speak into the phone.]  “Hey Fernando!  What am I doing?  I’m celebrating Mass, but that’s ok.  What’s up?  Spaghetti?  No I had spaghetti for supper yesterday.  Pizza?  Well sure, I’ll have pizza anytime.  Sure, noon is fine.  No, I’m not sure who is coming for baptisms next week at Sacred Heart, probably the deacon.  Ok, sure.  Yeah.  Give your mom a hug for me!” [Putting the phone on the corner of the altar, I continue my homily.]  “Now where was I?  Oh yeah…”

            Can you imagine how angry and really turned off people were?  BUT DON’T BE ALARMED!!!  It was all a part of the homily to show people how attached we are to these electronic methods of communication, how we send so many messages and write so much that we are actually communicating very little at times!  We spend time glued to the screens of our cell phones that we are losing the desire to sit face to face and get to know each other, and to really communicate about important stuff.  We’re so used to having what we want so instantly that many times – even when we are sitting talking face to face – we don’t know how to really listen.  And this can cause problems in our communication with God.  This also causes us to refrain from communicating with those who are less fortunate (in our case, I was speaking of the street people who sleep in the plaza in front of the mother church every night).  The homily was really about social ministries (visiting the jails, visiting the hospitals, visiting the homebound, etc.).  For these ministries to be successful we need to re-learn how to communicate on a human level and not just on a digital electronic level!

            After explaining the readings for that Sunday, I asked the people how many of them were upset that I was receiving messages – and answering them! – during Mass?  Some hands went up.  I asked them if they were distracted by my showing the altar servers internet images during the second reading, and more hands went up.  When I asked how many were really bothered and upset that I answered a phone call during my homily nearly all the hands went up!

            Each time that I “received a message”, was “looking at something on the Internet”, or “talking with Fernando” I made sure to show the altar servers the screen of my cell phone.  Before Mass I showed them that my cell phone was actually turned off!  So at the pre-determined point of my homily I asked them what they had seen on the screen of my phone, and they said “nothing, Father, your phone is turned off!  You told us before Mass what you were going to do”.

            Most of the people liked how the homily turned out and I received quite a few congratulations.  And I gave the same homily at all four Masses that I celebrated in the mother church that weekend.  Here’s the good news: the women’s group has decided that they want to begin offering soup to the homeless in the plaza in front of the church every Thursday morning.  Others have asked if they could start vising the homebound, and still others asked what they needed to do to be able to visit the people in jail.  All in all, a very successful homily!

            HOWEVER….

            Other stories were brought to my attention that day.

When I was answering a text message one gentleman become quite agitated and yelled out, “you’ve got to be kidding me.  I’m telling the Bishop!”  (Here in Brazil the people have this habit of running to the Bishop whenever they dislike ANYTHING – even the most minimal – that a priest does.  Sometimes they don’t even point it out to the priest; they just go straight to the Bishop or the Diocesan offices!!!!)

Another gentleman left during the homily while I was talking on the phone during the 7:30am Mass.  He returned for the 9:00am Mass, and when he saw it was me in the back of the Church before the procession he said, “Are you serious?.  That priest again?  I came from the other side of the city to be here for Mass and this guy talks on the cell phone the whole Mass!”  Luckily one of the Eucharistic Ministers (who had also been at the 7:30am Mass) took him aside and explained to him that I wasn’t really talking on my cell phone; it was just an illustration for my homily.  She convinced him to stay, and after Mass he came up and asked me to forgive him.  Not knowing what had happened, he explained it to me and said that he should have understood something was up.  I gave him a hug, and he is now signed up to take the two-day course to begin hospital ministry!

Finally, at the 7:00pm Mass Sunday evening another man was leaving the church during my homily, quite offended.  Luckily at the same time the parish treasurer was arriving in order to drop off some paperwork, saw the man, and asked what was wrong.  His timing couldn’t have been better – that man is a quite faithful and generous contributor to the parish!  The treasurer (who had been at Mass the previous evening) explained that it was just a visual illustration and the guy returned (thank goodness).  He was one of those who congratulated me on the homily!

Yes, I still do the “fluff” homilies (you know, the “let’s all feel good” kind) from time to time.  The majority of my homilies are still very catechetical.  But now I’m at a point in my life where I think my homily and our faith needs to challenge us – perhaps now more than ever – to be “different” than everyone else, to be willing to “go against the flow” when necessary, to be “more human” than society is at times.  Yes, I believe that homilies need to make us think and examine how we are living our faith.  And if that makes people uncomfortable at times, perhaps that is what needs to happen.  If it means conforming our lives a little more each day to that of Jesus whom we call the Christ, then I’m willing to take my lumps along the way to bring people to Him.

Celebrating Mass in Sacred Heart Church (one of the 12 which make up my parish of St. Benedict's).

In conclusion, even after that homily, this past Wednesday there was still a woman in the third row who during the brief weekday homily of that Mass had the courage to sit there and talk on her cell phone!!!!  My mom once told me of a priest who, when someone was talking on the phone during Mass, said, “that’s ok, we’ll wait for you to finish your call before continuing Mass so we don’t interrupt you.”  Do you suppose they’ll go to the Bishop over that?

God bless!!!